Sunday, November 25, 2001
*note* this post may contain coarse language
To Clarify: Drew = Megans boyfriend - sean = their housemate slash (friend..) - steven = friend.. - matthew = friend
My legs are aching. I walked home what's maybe 7-8km last night from the other side of town. I was going to stay at Megan/Drew/sean's house last night, but i figured it best not to. It all started out as a normal night out, except for the free beer. Then we went to one of the clubs.. (why? tell me) In handing Megan the remainder of my beer to visit the boys room, i got bumped into by some dude walking past and hit a nearly-empty drink that dribbled onto sean. I don't like sean when he's drunk... It's bad enough getting over the i-can-take-anything-because-im-such-a-fucking-man and women-are-just-for-sex facade (i sometimes wonder if he believes the second part) he puts up when he's sober. sean hit me because he got liquid on his pants.. I'd been covered in beer a few hours before, but fuck.. can't have that now can we? He walked out and went to take Megan with him, I pulled her up with a 'wtf' and she shrugged and said she was going.. I asked her to stay, but she wanted to go.. so we went downstairs to talk to her where it was at least a little more quiet.
sean went elsewhere with other people, I hung around when Steven was talking to Megan and i heard him say something along the lines of 'being too friendly' - that pissed me off. I made Megan sit down and tell me what was wrong, to no avail, and we started to walk home (to her house). I thought she was pissed off at me for something, I asked her and she said she wasn't pissed off at me. I asked her to tell me what was wrong, and she said "I'm in love with Drew, that's what" - I think that's when she started crying.. I wasn't far behind. It suprised me, what Megan said. My mind wasn't even on what happened between us until I got downstairs and I overheard Steven. We kept walking with Matthew trailing behind (he was staying there too, he knows about what happened between megan and I and I think he knew I wanted to talk to Megan and find out what was wrong). We stopped down one of the streets, Matthew kept walking and Megan and I talked. I told her that I wanted her to be the person in this town I could talk to about anything, considering I don't have someone like that *here*.
She kept saying really horrible things about herself, "I'm sorry I'm here, Benny" I told her that was stupid. Of all the people to fall for. We both ended up a sobbing mess sitting on the side of the road and we talked a bit. I asked her to tell me if she was just fucking me around, and that it wasn't gonna be easier either way so she might as well tell me honestly. She said no. She said she did feel something for me. She wanted to know why she was so important. I told her it was because she's her. We were going to go our seperate ways then and there (not for good, just for the night) - but i ran after her to give her her hairband i had in my pocket, and I was going to use the phone up ahead to call someone. At the phone box we said goodbye, we kissed, and walked away. I ended up walking home from there, even further from where I started. I'm sore from walking, I'm tired from lack of sleep, I'm hurting because of obvious reasons, but its only a matter of time before I'm ok.
To Clarify: Drew = Megans boyfriend - sean = their housemate slash (friend..) - steven = friend.. - matthew = friend
My legs are aching. I walked home what's maybe 7-8km last night from the other side of town. I was going to stay at Megan/Drew/sean's house last night, but i figured it best not to. It all started out as a normal night out, except for the free beer. Then we went to one of the clubs.. (why? tell me) In handing Megan the remainder of my beer to visit the boys room, i got bumped into by some dude walking past and hit a nearly-empty drink that dribbled onto sean. I don't like sean when he's drunk... It's bad enough getting over the i-can-take-anything-because-im-such-a-fucking-man and women-are-just-for-sex facade (i sometimes wonder if he believes the second part) he puts up when he's sober. sean hit me because he got liquid on his pants.. I'd been covered in beer a few hours before, but fuck.. can't have that now can we? He walked out and went to take Megan with him, I pulled her up with a 'wtf' and she shrugged and said she was going.. I asked her to stay, but she wanted to go.. so we went downstairs to talk to her where it was at least a little more quiet.
sean went elsewhere with other people, I hung around when Steven was talking to Megan and i heard him say something along the lines of 'being too friendly' - that pissed me off. I made Megan sit down and tell me what was wrong, to no avail, and we started to walk home (to her house). I thought she was pissed off at me for something, I asked her and she said she wasn't pissed off at me. I asked her to tell me what was wrong, and she said "I'm in love with Drew, that's what" - I think that's when she started crying.. I wasn't far behind. It suprised me, what Megan said. My mind wasn't even on what happened between us until I got downstairs and I overheard Steven. We kept walking with Matthew trailing behind (he was staying there too, he knows about what happened between megan and I and I think he knew I wanted to talk to Megan and find out what was wrong). We stopped down one of the streets, Matthew kept walking and Megan and I talked. I told her that I wanted her to be the person in this town I could talk to about anything, considering I don't have someone like that *here*.
She kept saying really horrible things about herself, "I'm sorry I'm here, Benny" I told her that was stupid. Of all the people to fall for. We both ended up a sobbing mess sitting on the side of the road and we talked a bit. I asked her to tell me if she was just fucking me around, and that it wasn't gonna be easier either way so she might as well tell me honestly. She said no. She said she did feel something for me. She wanted to know why she was so important. I told her it was because she's her. We were going to go our seperate ways then and there (not for good, just for the night) - but i ran after her to give her her hairband i had in my pocket, and I was going to use the phone up ahead to call someone. At the phone box we said goodbye, we kissed, and walked away. I ended up walking home from there, even further from where I started. I'm sore from walking, I'm tired from lack of sleep, I'm hurting because of obvious reasons, but its only a matter of time before I'm ok.
