Tuesday, May 21, 2002
Argh, I was thinking aobut what you said when I went to my lecture and just had to comment again ^^;
He should mention you to Andrea, or at least not try to hide it. What he does should be none of her concern anymore either way, and if he thinks he has to still worry about what she knows, then he has a problem. He can't just bathe in attention he might be getting from her (friendly phonecalls) because it makes him feel good, not telling her about you because she might give him less attention or anything (he's being selfish, you have a right to feel like you're the main girl in his life, and if there's anyone he should be making sure he continues to get attention from, it's you!) He should be able to not worry about him and you being together - if that fact makes A. call him less often, well, it only means that she didn't really care about him as a person (ie couldn't be happy for him that he has a new g/f) If he thinks she'll like him less as a friend or whatever for knowing he's with you, then he should realise she can't be much of a friend if that's the way she acts.
He also should let you choose your own friends. He can give you advice, but he shouldn't be trying to force you to give up people you've known longer than him. I mean, maybe he sees something in some of them that he thinks might change you to not be the kind of person you are now, but I think you're a much stronger person than that... he should understand that you still have your own right to choose your friends, just like he does. He should either deal with it, or if it bugs him so much he can't stand their existence at all, maybe he should think hard about what he really wants from this relationship - you being friends with all your friends AND with him, or you being with your friends. If he'd rather have you regardless, then he sohuld just shut up and deal with it for now, and see whether something happens and he was right, or if he was wrong (he begins to see their good sides).
Anyway, that might have all been complete blather, I don't know ^^; Just hoping it might have helped, because being unhappy in a relationship is uber-sucky, I know.
He should mention you to Andrea, or at least not try to hide it. What he does should be none of her concern anymore either way, and if he thinks he has to still worry about what she knows, then he has a problem. He can't just bathe in attention he might be getting from her (friendly phonecalls) because it makes him feel good, not telling her about you because she might give him less attention or anything (he's being selfish, you have a right to feel like you're the main girl in his life, and if there's anyone he should be making sure he continues to get attention from, it's you!) He should be able to not worry about him and you being together - if that fact makes A. call him less often, well, it only means that she didn't really care about him as a person (ie couldn't be happy for him that he has a new g/f) If he thinks she'll like him less as a friend or whatever for knowing he's with you, then he should realise she can't be much of a friend if that's the way she acts.
He also should let you choose your own friends. He can give you advice, but he shouldn't be trying to force you to give up people you've known longer than him. I mean, maybe he sees something in some of them that he thinks might change you to not be the kind of person you are now, but I think you're a much stronger person than that... he should understand that you still have your own right to choose your friends, just like he does. He should either deal with it, or if it bugs him so much he can't stand their existence at all, maybe he should think hard about what he really wants from this relationship - you being friends with all your friends AND with him, or you being with your friends. If he'd rather have you regardless, then he sohuld just shut up and deal with it for now, and see whether something happens and he was right, or if he was wrong (he begins to see their good sides).
Anyway, that might have all been complete blather, I don't know ^^; Just hoping it might have helped, because being unhappy in a relationship is uber-sucky, I know.
